Amma Indian Vegetarian Restaurant Vienna
Amma Vegetarian344 Maple Ave
Vienna, VA 22180
Amma Vienna: Hellishly, Devilishly, Obscenely Bad Food
One would have to be a million times crueler than Satan to serve such food garbage to paying diners.
Folks, to describe the food at Amma Vegetarian Kitchen on Maple Ave (E) in Vienna (VA) as merely hellishly bad would be an understatement exciting ridicule from connoisseurs of genuine Indian food.
As we walked in around 5:00 p.m. the other day, we found the restaurant near empty with the exception of a bald-headed fella sporting a sullen expression and a couple with a small kid. Since we didn't find any waitstaff, we headed straight to the cash counter and picked up a menu card.
Self-Serve DisserviceAmma Vegetarian Kitchen is a self-serve restaurant where you place your order at the counter, pay up and wait at a table for your food order number to be yelled out. The food comes in plastic plates and cups.
Famished as were, we ordered a combination of dine-in and take out food. Our order included Amma's Special Meal ($8.29), Mysore Masala Dosa ($6.59) and good ol' Thums Up for dine-in and Paruppu Vada and Idli for take-out.
Our Special Meal and Mysore Masala Dosa were ready in about seven minutes. We were pleased as punch until the first bite.
Amma - A Special OrdealAmma's Special Meal included a bowl of plain rice, two Chapathis, Channa Masala, Avial, Sambar, Rasam, Semiya Payasam, Raita (most of 'em in small plastic cups) and Pickle.
Soft in the middle but way too thick at the edges, the Chapathis had a weird taste as if they'd used stale wheat flour.
Channa Masala set in a watery brown sauce was sour and lacked the nice pungent masala taste that should accompany this dish.
Watery AvialSet in a whitish sauce, Amma's Avial was watery, sour and lacked the fine Coconut flavor that marks this South Indian delicacy. It was so plain awful that for once we were infinitely grateful for the tiny serving size.
Bad Channa Masala, SambarWhile Channa Masala and Avial turned out to be sour beasts, Sambar, the staple of South Indian Cuisine, was low on tamarind, low on toor dal, low on Sambar spices and, above all, low on a competent chef's hand.
The watery sambar with yellow pumpkin, bhindi and squash was so horrible that we could not shove no more than two spoons of this trashy impostor into our mouth.
Horrid RasamOf Amma's Rasam, the less said, the better. For it had no seasoning - no pungent black pepper powder or garlic or dhania flavor. It was like drinking salt-less, tasteless warm water with tomato pieces floating in it.
Sour RaitaRaita turned out to be another unendurable, inedible sour disaster. Way too sour and cold with just 10-15 tiny granules of onion.
Awful DessertsSemya Payasam was yet another travesty. Set in extremely diluted milk-like fluid, Amma's wannabe Semiya Payasam had an emaciated, malnourished look. Since we were hungry, we just closed our eyes and gulped a few spoons.
Plain rice was warm. But in the absence of a decent curry or accompaniment we had to trash much of it.
Cold Mysore Masala DosaMysore Masala Dosa came to the table cold.
So cold that we wondered if it was prepared in a different era.
Compounding our misery was the soft texture of the Mysore Masala Dosa. It was soft like a mashed potato. The Potato filling inside the Mysore Masala Dosa had no seasoning other than turmeric powder and few mustard seeds.
To add insult to injury, Mysore Masala Dosa came with that abominable Sambar and cold, smelly Coconut Chutney.
Brittle Paruppu VadaParuppu Vada constituted two medium size, cold Vadas and that ugly Coconut Chutney.
Way too brittle, with a surfeit of mint/curry leaves and no evidence of ginger and garlic, Amma's version of Paruppu Vada was likely the main fixture at Satanic rituals.
Worse, it was also not fresh, at least several hours old although we were misinformed that it was just prepared.
Idlis or ImplantsIdlis came with the same bad watery Sambar and cold, smelly Coconut Chutney. As if that were not bad enough, the Idli itself had a funny shape.
With a monstrous bulge in the middle, the round, slightly hard Idlis looked like breast implants rather than the soft fluffy commonplace South Indian dish.
Disgustingly Bad ServiceBad food often accompanies horrible service in most Indian restaurants. And Amma Vegetarian Kitchen in Vienna is no exception to the rule.
Service problems started right at the time of ordering. As we were about to place our order we saw a board next to the cash counter about Today's Special - Upma. As we were mulling adding Upma to our order, the counter clerk sporting a devilish smile informed us that only one order of Upma is available. He kept parroting that two or three orders of Upma were not available. Irritated at what seemed like dubious sales tactics, we decided against Upma. Then the fella had a helluva time getting our credit card to work and demanded a different card. After we insisted, the clown tried again and finally managed to get our card to work.
We were disappointed, and not in the least surprised, that our take-out order in the stapled brown bag did not come with spoons, forks, plates or napkins.
Dirty Dining Area and Stinking Rest RoomTo the bozos at Amma, such commonplace devices as the vacuum cleaner or a broom are entirely foreign.
You see, the dining area was dirty with food remnants and small pieces of napkins littering the floor.
The toilet was a stinking, dark hole with overflowing trash can and a foul odor.
Cursing our bad Karma, we prepared to leave and headed to the counter to to pick up our takeout order. To our shock, the counter clerk with the bald head rudely shoved a stapled brown bag towards us.
Our appetite for good Indian food unsated and our mood in high dudgeon, we quietly slipped into the cold Vienna night heaping curses on the Amma shaitans and vowing never to return to this dumpster. - - © VAIndia.us
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